This is a question I asked myself after my lover died in 2007. I found a possible answer as I wrote my first novel, Pieces of You. Here is an excerpt that will give you a clue…and may answer the question for you, too:
“My darling, Mark, you’re here for my birthday! My prayers have been answered! I have missed you so. There were moments when I thought I’d never see you again.”
She had to pause and just drink in his appearance.
“You look wonderful to these starved eyes. Handsome and radiating health!”
Mark was gazing at her with undisguised adoration.
“I’ve never felt better or more peaceful. Just seeing you sets off surges of indescribable pleasure! Let me just hold you. I’ve longed for this; to press your body into mine and taste the sweetness of your mouth.”
All the questions in her mind were overridden by the insistence of her body, but the seating arrangement took over where her will power had left off. By the way Mark looked intently at her and then into the distance, she could tell that there was something he was struggling to share.
While Janie speculated about a poetic speech, Mark beseeched heaven for words that would make her understand.
Looking into her eyes while gently stroking her cheek and neck, he began:
“My dear one, my bride; are you still committed to being my final partner?”
Janine’s look told him everything he needed to know, even before she replied, “Certainly, dearest Mark, although I’d like a traditional ceremony so that we can make that commitment in front of witnesses.”
“I want that, too, if we’re given the time. Right now, I need to share some of what has happened to me. I felt like I was letting you down because I couldn’t come to you these last few days. Be assured, it was only because it wasn’t in my power. I don’t know how to begin to explain what I’ve been through. I’m sure it will sound bizarre coming from a person diagnosed as comatose but I’m telling you, with absolute sincerity, that it all seemed very real to me. In my spirit I relived significant events of my life before I knew you and even had the opportunity of looking into a future with you.”
”Amazing! You couldn’t make up a story like this. Anyway, I know you wouldn’t lie.
“I want to know everything you went through! Your travels; what you discovered, what it all seems to mean and lots of detail about the future you saw for us!”
“I think I’ve changed.”
Seeing Janie’s look of alarm, Mark added:
“For the better; maybe a little less selfish, more capable of the Corinthians’ version of loving or at least of protecting, trusting, and hoping. As for the future, some of what I’ve seen of its living conditions is not so good; actually it’s terrifying. But I was shown a way to make it easier for u…” Mark stopped himself from saying ‘us’ just in time and changed it to “for you.”
If you want to read more, go to amazon.com on Monday, August 20. When you read Pieces of You, please tell me if my answer seems to be your answer, too.